people
people come and go. i’ve been looking out my window at the rain, listening to the final track off castaways and cutouts, by the decemberists, entitled California One / Youth and Beauty Brigade. I’m thinking about the different people I’ve had romantic feelings for, and wondering which were mistakes to start (or not start), and which were mistakes to end, or if any were either. Sage, Larry, Joe, Sean, Tyler, Aaron, Jonathan, Cameron, Greg, James, Glenn. They’re all extremely different, and I was extremely different with each one of them. I don’t think I could find anything to talk about with those first four. Some of them hurt me a lot, most in ways that I’ve forgotten about, and can look back on and laugh, but some in ways I think will stick with me forever. I know, I’m only 19, how can I know, but sometimes you just know. I’m not really sure what I’m getting at here. I guess it’s just really strange how someone can be such a large part of your life, all you think about, and go from that to being someone you don’t even pause to look at on facebook. I wonder how long it will be before I’m just a faint memory in the last few’s mind. Hell, will they even remember me by first name in 20 years? It’s impossible to say. Time, life, memories. It’s all very vague. I guess that’s what comes with having ration and reason; confusion and wonderment. I’m curious about what my life will be like this time next year. I really have no idea. It’s almost overwhelming to think about what things will be like 5 years from now. I’ve heard most people meet the person they’re going to marry in college… that’s a really weird thought. It’s really not that long, in the scheme of things, before my peers and I start looking for something permanent, something to last forever. Hell, I might be doing that now and not even notice. Anything’s possible, right?
